Of ClOwNs and Spid8rs
by Word-Stranger
Summary: Another Homestuck oneshot. Gamzee/Vriska.


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Yes, GamzeexVriska. THAT'S RIGHT, I SHIP IT.

* * *

"C'mon...one little taste wouldn't hurt ya..."

"I said NO."

"It's good for ya..."Gamzee continued, a dull laugh followed.

"No, it screws with your head."Vriska replied, rubbing her temples. She found this...clown to be one of her many pestering annoyances that just wouldn't go away. Tavros, the bugger of a twerp, was one thing, but this...this half dazed, slime eating, juggling fool proved to her more and more that he was going to be one of her kismesis.

"No way...prove it."The clown-like troll said, still holding out a sopor slime pie for her.

"Your standing right here."Vriska argued further.

It took a moment for Gamzee to process her words. He spoke with a pause."Oh...oh! I get it, you're insulting me cause...cause I'm proof slime pie is bad for you!"He shook his head with a goofy grin, his unkempt hairstyle swaying with the movement."Naw...I'm perfectly fine and chill...it's a miracle."

_'That 8ne w8rd as well. He always says it, he's always speaking 8f 8ne friggin' miracle or an8ther.'_Vriska thought."No, you're HIGH as the sky and STONED beyond all thought."She griped. _'G8d, I c8uld really use an 8 ball right n8w.'_

_"_That shit's going to kill you one day."

Gamzee shrugged, his eyes glazed over, but a sly smile permanently stuck on his painted features."Don't knock it 'till you try it, bro."

"I'm a girl!"

Another shrug."And a huge bitch at that."He giggled, raising the pie tin to his lips and taking a bite of the neon green substance and swallowing, some of it dripping down his chin."This thing tastes like a motherhonkin' miracle..."

With gritted teeth, Vriska snatched the pie from Gamzee's hands."You want me to prove to you how bad this stuff is?"

He nodded with a light giggle.

"Fine!"

Vriska tentatively raised the pie to her lips, gulping and taking a tiny bite. She gagged slightly, but forced the goo down. She repeated the process, this time taking a tad bigger bite. Then another, and another. With each consecutive swallow, the pie began to taste better. Her vision began to fog and twist, her thoughts jumbling over each other. She giggled herself with a hiccup as she finished the rest of the oozing confection. Gamzee somehow ending up laying on his back on the floor. He patted the ground beside him, and strangely, Vriska found herself laying down as well."Told ya it was good..."

"I...I know...yeah..."Her head was swimming.

Out of nowhere they both had a laughing fit, their almost maniacal chuckles echoing through the hallways."You're...you're pretty, you know that?"Gamzee stated.

"Naw...y-you're just staying...saying that..."The now calmer yet far from sober Vriska replied.

"No, seriously! It's like a freakin' miracle how hot you are..."

"It's a freakin' miracle how...how...w-what were we talking about?"

"I dunno...I lost track too."Gamzee laughed, turning his head to look at Vriska. She did as well, their sleepy eyes gazing into each other for the longest time."Wanna make out?"She asked, her voice sounding as drowsy as Gamzee.

"Sure."His ever-present grin widened as they leaned in, both of them bumping heads at first. Recovering from the cringe, they tried again, lips meeting successfully this time.

* * *

Blushing deeply, Vriska stood up and pulled her jacket back. She had never felt such shame before."This never happened."

"Oh...oh yes, it did!"Gamzee cackled, standing up and yawning, shirt half on."That was a motherhonkin' miracle."

She suddenly turned on him, her usually grey face now pure red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment."You tell this to no one."

"I dunno...maybe Karkat wants to know...he is my bro..."

"No one."

"What about that Egbert kid...?"

"No one!"

"Maybe Nick Cage...he still alive?"

"NO ONE. OR I SWEAR I WILL MANIPUL8 YOU TO DEATH. I WONDER HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE YOUR BRAINS BASHED IN BY YOUR OWN CLUBS..."

"Chill...chill...it's all good."Another laugh, another shrug, the usual antics from the clown.

With a huff and a nod, Vriska turned around and walked away, struggling to hold back the headache building up in her skull.

_'ShE tOtAlLy DiGs Me.'_ Gamzee thought with a toothy grin.'_It'S a MiRaClE...'_

* * *

**[Reader]===Shameless OTP Achieved! Begin to flame and/or review story!**

**Most the dialogue between these two was inspired by my drug-using friends...it's rather interesting to be straight-edge around high as heaven people...I'm sad now.**


End file.
